People always say, live your life to the fullest and have no regrets about anything you have done.  Personally I find that a lot easier said than done.

For the longest time whenever I would think about my past and try to find regrets, I never could find any, I felt like I am where I am based on what happened, so I had no regrets.  However, now, all I seem to find are regrets, in almost every aspect of my past.

Regrets in who I dated and how things ended.

Regrets in job choices and education ventures.

So far, at the time of writing this, I can not think of anything in my past that I don’t regret, even areas of my past when I was truly happy, I am still seeing a little bit of regret in parts of it.

It is amazing the impact and control that one person can have on your life, especially when they are no longer in your life.  Almost every thought is about them, sights, sounds, smells…all trigger thoughts and memories of them.

I feel like my biggest regret ever, was falling in love…yes, it was wonderful while it lasted, but the pain when it was gone is almost unbearable and is just not worth it.

And for those of you from Facebook and Twitter, please DO NOT start sending me messages asking, “Are you ok?”, “What’s wrong?”, etc…because I will simply ignore them.  I do not feel like “chatting” about it or “talking things out”.

The best advice I ever received was years ago and it still rings through my head quite often…probably a lot more often than I would like.

“Hurt me once, shame on you…Hurt me twice, shame on me”

But things finally seem to be looking up again, for those of you that don’t know, I finally found a job! YAY! lol. I am working at a local computer repair shop called Tritech Computer Solutions in Siler City, NC. So if anyone lives in the area that reads this and needs their computer fixed or worked on, feel free to swing on by, we offer Free Diagnostics, so there’s no obligation.

Anyway, I think that is all I am going to post for right now, my thumbs are getting a little tired, I am actually typing all this on my new Blackberry Curve 8520, yeah, I finally got a phone again. So if you wanna txt me or whatever ask for my #, or if you have a Blackberry too, can hit me up on my PIN for Blackberry Messenger 2152cb42.

Later…

Dear Bruce:

Thank you for your interest in the position of Emergency Communications Specialist with the City of Greensboro, Guilford Metro 911. We want to thank you for the time and effort that you have put forth as an applicant for our department. After careful consideration we have determined that we will not be able to include you further in this selection process. This should not be construed as a negative evaluation, but as being reflective of the number of qualified applicants and competitive nature of our selection process.

I want to thank you, again, for your initiative and interest in employment with our organization. I wish you much success in your future endeavors.

Sincerely yours,

So needless to say, I am not too happy right now.  On the day of the Interview, there was only 6 other people that were still in the process, 7 including me, and with my background in EMS/Rescue/Fire, Security and Computers, I am more then qualified for the job.

……blah

Again, on a brighter note, I have my Oral Board Interview tomorrow at 12:30pm for Guilford Metro 911, it is a 3 person panel interview that I am not looking forward to, I hate being the center of attention like that, but I guess it will be better then the damn 7 person panel I did earlier this year.  So wish me luck with this.

I had a interview last Weds the 7th for Securitas, it seemed to go pretty good, but I am not sure how long it will take to hear back from them since they have to get out-of-state background checks on me, but I have my fingers crossed for it as well.

I go back to the Army recruiter this Weds the 14th to go out to Raleigh to re-take my ASVAB since my previous scores have expired.  So once I pass the ASVAB again, they can review my scores and get everything together to send me to the Civilian Doctor at MEPS for clearance.  I am shooting for full Active Duty but it is possible that the Doctor will not clear me for Active but for Reserve only, if that happens I won’t complain, because it is better then nothing and unless things have changed, you can go from Reserve to Active after so long in-service, if I remember correctly.

Anyway, I guess that is all for now.

I have been labeled by DSS as being able to work but chose not to work, so they are trying to impute min wage income on me which would put my monthly payments at $233, how they expect someone with no job to pay that, I don’t know.  So DSS claims they can’t lower or change the amount once they set it, only a judge can, so I have to go to court now and show the judge proof that I have been actively trying to find a job and hope that he agrees with me, that I am not out of work because I don’t want to work, and lower my payments down to the state min of $50 a month.

On a slightly brighter note, I had my 4hrs of observation time at Guilford Metro 911 for Dispatcher job.  It was interesting, more fast paced then I was expecting but then again, it is a busier county then what I used to volunteer in.  The observation went really good though, had several good laughs with a few of the dispatchers and definitely got to see and hear a lot of cool stuff.  Next step is my Oral Boards (Interview) on Oct. 13th, still waiting on my time for it.

Another brighter note (depending on who you ask) is that I may be going back to the Military (Army to be specific).  Have already spoken to a recruiter about starting the process of getting me back in, I just need to get together some paperwork for us to go over and then get the civilian doctor down at MEPS in Charlotte to clear me (due to my discharge reasons the first time) and I should be smooth sailing with getting back in.

Wish me luck with everything, I am really going to need it tomorrow…